


Rain

by Hylian Shadow (Hylian_Shadow)



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles X
Genre: Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 06:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11351979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hylian_Shadow/pseuds/Hylian%20Shadow
Summary: Rain reminds Cross of questions he cannot answer.





	Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Chapter 5; vague spoilers for rest of game.

Cross wakes to the sound of rain drumming on metal.

_The hatch opens with a quiet_ whirr _that nonetheless seems too loud, and all he sees is white. He flinches and raises a hand to block out the light. Then the light moves away, mercifully. When his vision starts to clear, he can see the figure standing outside._

_He hears a voice, but he can't pick out the words. She keeps talking anyway._

He opens his eyes. He isn't in his lifepod. This isn't Starfall Basin. He's sitting in his Skell, staring out the viewscreen at the pouring rain.

_He remembers his name, his name and absolutely_ nothing  _else. And yet when she hands him a knife and a rifle, the weapons feel comforting, familiar, in his hands. Is he a soldier?_

No, he thinks, shaking his head and trying to will the memories away. He can't be a soldier. Someone in NLA would have recognized him by now, surely. Elma can't even find his name -- the only thing he's  _certain_ about -- in the database. No one knows his face; no one knows his name; no one knows  _him_ except for what he's done here on Mira.

That's the part that bothers him the most. Someone should recognize him. An old friend from Earth. An old squadmate from the  _White Whale._ Someone. Anyone.

_"Oh, hey, you're that new guy on Elma's team, aren't you?"_

And yet, nothing. He may as well have not existed prior to the night Elma woke him from his lifepod.

Then again, he  _is_ a soldier now. Soldier, warrior, BLADE; different words, similar enough meaning. He leaves the safety of NLA with his gun ready so he can protect what remains of humanity and recover whatever is left of their ship. He and the other BLADEs fight so that the habitat unit that is New Los Angeles can stay intact, whether the threat comes from enemy xenos or hostile indigens.

_"That was reckless. And Goddamn magnificent."_

Cross closes his eyes and sighs, letting himself slump in his seat. His Skell vibrates faintly around him, through his chair and the controls beneath his hands and feet. He shouldn't be thinking so much, shouldn't be dwelling on questions he already  _knows_ have no answers.

It's raining, he tells himself. There might be a tyrant out there, coaxed out by the rain. He can't assume he's safe where he stands.

" _Looks like we don't have a choice."_

He opens his eyes again and stares blankly through the viewscreen. Something moves off in the distance, something small and obscured by the sheets of rain. Probably just a grex, he thinks. Probably not a threat.

It finally dawns on him that one of the voices he's been hearing is coming in through his headset instead of merely echoing in his head. He grumbles under his breath, annoyed at being disturbed or annoyed at being caught resting or just annoyed at himself for his state of mind; he doesn't even know that much.

But he reaches up and turns on his radio. "Cross here."

"Well, yes, that much is obvious. Your Skell  _is_ quite distinctive," Elma says in his ear, her voice simultaneously comforting and irritating. Of course  _she_ would be the one to find him out here.

"Do you need something?" He flinches at how brusque he sounds.

If she hears it, she doesn't react to it. "I was wondering where you were. H.B. said you were right behind him, but it's been several hours since he checked in. It's not like you to not return with your squad." She chuckles softly. "Besides, if you need a nap, we have beds in the barracks. Surely even the couches would be preferable to that cockpit."

Cross swivels his chair, viewscreen shifting with him, until he can see Elma's Skell behind his. He wonders how much he should tell her before quickly deciding that she, of all people, deserves some kind of explanation. "I wasn't planning on taking a nap."

"Ah." Her tone is light, but also guarded. "Is something bothering you?"

_Yes,_ he wants to say.  _Who am I, really?_ he wants to ask. Instead he says, simply, "Just remembering some things."

She doesn't respond at first. He watches her Skell, expecting it to start walking away.

It doesn't. Instead, she finally says, "It was raining that night."

_Which night?_ he almost asks, but he already knows she means the same night he's been thinking of since he woke up. "It was."

"It didn't let up until dawn. You should have seen yourself. You were so amazed when you saw that millesaur. But then I think we all were the first time."

_Every creature he sees is so_ huge,  _and the massive ring of metal rising from a larger ring of jagged crystalline_ something  _is even more massive still. He stares over at it, seeing the tower rising from somewhere within the ring, the enormous black letters reading "United States" emblazoned on the ring's side._

_He's never seen this before, and yet... this is familiar somehow. This ring and what it houses are_ important.

"In my defense," he says, voice low. "I wasn't expecting that."

She chuckles again. "No, you weren't. But it was a pretty fitting sight for your first Miran sunrise."

"That first day did set the tone for everything that's happened since." Fighting those grexes, Lin's tour of NLA, all of the talk of BLADE... In so many ways, nothing has really changed since that first day.

"It's bothering you, isn't it?" Elma says after a long moment.

He wants to lie. "A little, maybe."

"I won't say it doesn't matter who you are. I will say that it doesn't matter to  _me_ who you were. I'm happy to know the Cross I woke that night, and I'm sure Lin and the others all agree with me."

"It's easy for you," he counters. "This is the only Cross you know."

She makes a quiet, thoughtful sound. "What other Cross is there? Unless you've been lying to all of us this whole time?"

"No, I haven't. I've just been myself."

"And that is good enough for me."

"Elma --"

"Cross. You've accepted me. You've accepted a lot of things and a lot of people. You may be the most accepting person in all of NLA. The least I can do is accept  _you_ ."

She's right, of course. He  _has_ accepted a  _lot_ , from the fact he's inside a mimeosome to all of the various xeno races he's helped out to  _Elma_ ...

"You're a good man, Cross. That much is obvious to anyone who talks to you."

For a moment, neither of them speak. He watches the rain run down Elma's Skell, miniature waterfalls cascading from the various weapons.

"I'm exhausted," he finally admits. Maybe that's his problem.

"The barracks has beds," Elma says again, "and hot food,  _and_ a hot shower." Her Skell finally moves, water flying off in sheets with every step.

Once again, it's the two of them returning to NLA in the rain. He wonders if Lin will be there to greet them this time. Maybe she is. And maybe she and Tatsu are just waiting for him to step foot into the barracks so they can tackle-hug him.

"Are you coming?" Elma says in his ear.

Cross straightens in his seat as it swivels to face forward again, his hands sliding back into their proper places on the controls. He wonders if Lin's cooking, and then he wonders if Vandham is going to  _just happen_ to come by to "talk".

And then he smiles in spite of himself. Elma's right, he supposes. Who he is right now is good enough for everyone else. That doesn't get him  _answers,_ but his team has his back, and maybe that's all he really needs.

He slides his Skell into gear and starts after Elma. "I'm right behind you."


End file.
